Dear Adi,
This Saturday evening, Deta asked me to make fried poha, just the way you liked it. I don’t even remember when I last made it.
While preparing the dish, all I could think about was you. I could almost see you standing next to me in the kitchen, impatient to eat it.
You know what? I ended up making almost the same quantity that I used to when you were there. It was as if some part of me still expected you to walk into the kitchen and eat the leftover snack straight from the pan.
I remembered how your eyes would be fixed on our bowls — especially on Mamba’s share — even when you had your own bowl full. And the moment you finished your share, you would run to the kitchen and scrape out whatever was left in the pan.
One of the last videos I have of you is from a moment like that. Watching it brings bittersweet memories every time.
Everything reminds me of you.
Just like the Almighty is said to be omnipresent, for me you are too. While writing this, I can almost see you sitting on the kitchen slab with that naughty smile on your face. My throat chokes up thinking about it.
Carrying you in my heart, I am trying my best to move ahead. I have made a few friends in the new place. I have started working out again, baking again. I’ve even picked up a new hobby — crochet. The hours that I spend crocheting, my mind is off everything and just present there. At the moment.
Sometimes I wonder what you would have done with the rolls of yarn I use for crocheting. Knowing you, you would probably have grabbed them and started playing ball with them. 😊
I am trying to move forward with this life… but at the same time I am scared.
Will I forget you eventually?
Will there come a time when you become just a distant memory… or a figment of my imagination?
I don’t ever want that to happen.
Love you and miss you so much, Adu.
