Dear Adi,
Last night, I had a beautiful dream.
In my dream, you, Mamba and I had gone on a trip to Switzerland. You held my hand, walked beside me, and spoke to me. You led us to a beautiful place — a bright blue sky above us, greenery all around. I can still see that deep, beautiful blue.
It felt like such a happy trip. The three of us went to so many beautiful places. You were running around, giggling… the sound of your laughter is still ringing in my ears. I held you, watched your antics, and felt so full in that moment.
We were so happy…
And then it was morning. And I woke up.
I woke up with a strange sense of happiness. But as the day goes on, that feeling is slowly turning into despair, grief, and a deep sadness that I cannot explain.
You know what’s interesting? Last night, even Mamba had a dream about the three of us travelling to Switzerland. And a few months ago, both of us had the same dream — of you coming home in a helicopter.
Are these just coincidences?
My heart wants to believe that you really came to visit us… even if only in our dreams. It wants to believe that you miss us, that you love us, and that is why you came.
I find some peace in thinking that even though you are not here physically, you are still around us in some way… watching over us. And sometimes, in moments like these, I feel you are not that far away after all.
No matter what the truth is, our love for you will never diminish. The family you chose in this lifetime will always love you and cherish you.
You are in my prayers every single day.
Love you always, Jaan.
Your Mamma
