Happy Birthday, my sonny boy. My Adi.
It’s 10th September 2026. You would have turned 9 today. I would have baked another cake for you, and it would have been a beautiful day for us.
But instead, we spent the day watching your old videos. Videos of you as a baby, creating mischief. Videos of you as a toddler, running around, messing with Mamba, being naughty. We laughed at some and had tears while watching others. And all through it, it was difficult to believe, yet again, that you are not amongst us anymore.
All that we have are your memories, and we have to live with them forever.
I am sad that I couldn’t watch you grow into the handsome young man I always envisioned. I didn’t get a chance to experience your teenage years, your adulthood. I am sad that you left us so early. And nothing in this world can ever fill that void.
Our home still has little reminders of you. Your blue Crocs in our shoe rack, the xylophone that you loved to play, a few toys here and there, your favourite blanket, your pillow… No matter what anyone says, I haven’t been able to give them away. I am not sure anyone would understand.
But I need those reminders, just to feel that you were here.
Whenever I open the shoe rack and see your Crocs, I smile, thinking of you. Mamba hugs your pillow tight every night. I don’t want to erase your presence from our lives!! I need that to survive, to live my life.
I miss you so much every single day.
You are there in our conversations, mostly in the stories we tell, reminiscing about our beautiful time with you. There are days when I feel everything is meaningless without you.
Some nights I cry it out. Some nights the ache is so deep that I can’t breathe. There are days when I feel I have healed a little, and days when I feel totally broken and lost.
My heart looks for you everywhere, Adi… every day, every moment.
But I know you’d want us to live our lives fully. So that’s what I am doing, every single day. You’d be proud of me.
I am keeping myself busy, so much that I shouldn’t get time to think. But whom am I kidding…
Sometimes I feel it’s just an illusion that I have created. An illusion of healing, moving ahead and living my life.The truth is, I remember you with every breath I take, every thought I have.
I went to te temple yesterday to seek blessings for you. I asked Krishna to keep my Krishna safe and happy wherever he is!
I don’t know where you are.. But no matter where you are, my love and blessings will always be with you. Mamma will love you always, sweetheart.
Be happy wherever you are. ❤️
Love Mamma
