The last time we flew, you were running around the airport with endless curiosity, headphones on, lost in your music — calm and content, unlike any other child. Little did I know that would be our final journey together. Every mile since has carried the quiet ache of your absence.
It rained yesterday, and I missed him all over again. A stranger’s question reopened the night I’ve never truly left—the night my son’s heart stopped. In moments like these, I realise: grief doesn’t end. It returns, quietly, suddenly, again and again.
From Singapore, travelling to Indonesia was so easy. A short ferry ride of about 45–60 minutes, and we’d be in another country. In the first weekend of May 2019, we decided to go to Bintan, Indonesia. We had booked our stay at the beautiful Angsana Resort. The ferry ride was smooth, and both my kids …
Adi was doing fairly well with regular medications, therapy, and check-ups. There were good days when he didn’t have any seizures, and then there were those other days — the ones with the absence seizures. During those moments, we felt so helpless. There was nothing we could do except wait for it to pass. The …
Adi was now a very active toddler. My days were spent taking care of him and managing the home. On the surface, everything seemed okay. But in my mind, thoughts about his health and future never stopped. They kept me awake most nights. There were times I’d lie frozen in fear, overwhelmed by the unknown. …
The tears didn’t stop. Why me? Why me? Why me? What wrong had I done to deserve this?Why did you give me a baby after so many years, only to place so many conditions on him?I didn’t want to do this anymore… These thoughts kept running through my head for days. They say the grief …
Dear Adi, Today is Bohag Bihu—the Assamese New Year. It’s always been one of my favourite festivals. I loved shopping for new clothes for all of us and cooking special dishes to make the day festive. No matter where in the world we were, I always tried to make it special. But this year… I …
The report came the next day, and with it came another blow. My baby was diagnosed with a medical condition, a very complicated medical jargon I had heard for the first time. I frantically searched online, trying to make sense of the words on the report. What I found left me shaken. The more I …
February 2018 — By now, Adi was five months old, and our world revolved around him. Every little moment, every tiny milestone, became the centre of our lives. His sleep, his giggles, his little fists grasping our fingers—everything felt precious. We cherished every moment. For my daughter, having a baby brother was a dream come …
Dear Adi, Every day, we try to make peace with the fact that you’re not here with us physically. But the truth is, it still doesn’t feel real. Every morning, I wake up and feel lost all over again. There’s no Adu to wake me up with a hug and a sleepy kiss on my …