For Her We Chose To Begin Again – Part 2

February 2017: That’s when we found out we were going to welcome another little soul into our family. I was going to be a mom again after 9 years.

This time, it felt… different. My heart was a mix of emotions I couldn’t quite put into words. I was happy, excited, and grateful for another chance at motherhood. But I was also scared—scared of whether I could do it all over again, scared of whether I’d be able to love this little one as fiercely as I loved my daughter.

I promised myself that this time, I would enjoy the journey.

When I was pregnant the first time, I was so young—nervous, clueless, and constantly worried about doing something wrong. I didn’t know much about what was happening to my body or what to expect. But this time, I was older, maybe a little wiser, and definitely stronger. And so began our second innings—hospital visits, endless tests, and all the little milestones that come with preparing to welcome a baby.

Except for my preexisting blood pressure issues, everything was smooth. All the tests came back normal, and I felt active and healthy throughout. We were counting down the days, waiting to meet our little one by the end of October 2017.

But life had other plans.

During a routine check-up in my last trimester, the doctor noticed that my BP had shot up dangerously high. And just like that, everything changed. She said I needed an emergency C-section. I was stunned. I had walked in for a regular check-up and was suddenly being told I had to stay and prepare for surgery. I wasn’t ready. I was scared. I wasn’t prepared. My mind was spinning, but there was no time to process it.

They kept me under observation that night, and my surgery was scheduled for 8 AM the next morning. I don’t think I slept at all. My mind was racing, my heart pounding—fear, excitement, anxiety… it was all too much. I was about to meet my baby, but the unknowns were overwhelming.

The next morning, I was wheeled into the operation theatre. I was terrified—it was my first surgery ever. The surgery was successful and before I knew it, I heard a sound that would change my life forever. Through the haze of anesthesia, I heard my baby’s first cry. His tiny, powerful cry filled the room. Tears blurred my vision as I realized — I was now a mom to a baby boy.

Before I slipped into unconsciousness, I saw him. There he was, my beautiful little boy with a head full of thick, black hair. He was perfect. My heart felt full. I wanted to hold him close to me. I barely had time to take it all in before the darkness pulled me under, but that image—his tiny face, his first cries—stayed with me.

My handsome boy.