With trembling hands and a shaky body, I called Sid to tell him about the diagnosis. I was still holding on to a sliver of hope\u2014hoping that maybe a doctor would say it\u2019s not as bad as it seems. Since I couldn\u2019t get an urgent appointment with a well-known pediatric neurologist, I went to see a senior neurologist at a reputed hospital.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even then, I prayed for some reassurance, some light in all this darkness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Instead, the doctor looked at the reports, looked at my son, and said, \u201cI\u2019m afraid I have nothing good to say<\/strong> to you<\/strong>. Does he even recognize you? Does he look at you? You\u2019ll be lucky if he does.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She then called in a few junior doctors, and they started poking and prodding Adi\u2014 examining him like a specimen. My baby became an object of their curiosity like he was just another case study.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I felt I couldn\u2019t breathe. I stepped out of the room, leaving Adi with my brother-in-law. And then I broke down. Right there, outside the doctor\u2019s room, I howled. I cried like I never had before. The pain tore through me. I didn\u2019t care who saw me. My world had come crashing down. It felt like life had stopped. For a moment, I wished life would end right there and I wouldn\u2019t have to feel this pain anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After what felt like hours, I pulled myself together, went back in, collected the prescription, and came back home with Adi. But I had no clue what to do next. The tears wouldn\u2019t stop. I was still in denial about what life had just thrown at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I thought losing my parents was the biggest loss I\u2019d ever have to face\u2026 but this… this pain was deeper<\/strong>. I couldn\u2019t even look at my son\u2014it hurt too much. There was so much pain, anger, and helplessness. Anger at how unfair life felt, and tears that didn\u2019t seem to end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n