{"id":379,"date":"2026-02-10T09:56:58","date_gmt":"2026-02-10T09:56:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/?p=379"},"modified":"2026-02-10T09:57:05","modified_gmt":"2026-02-10T09:57:05","slug":"one-year-without-you-adi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/?p=379","title":{"rendered":"One Year Without You, Adi"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Dear Adi,<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This 18th of Feb, it\u2019s going to be a year since you left us. I thought by now it might ache a little less. That hasn\u2019t happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am hurting. Every moment, every day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yesterday, I woke up hearing you say \u201cP.\u201d How I used to ask you, \u201cDoes Adi want to pee?\u201d<\/em> and you\u2019d say \u201cP.\u201d<\/em> I heard you say that. And then I woke up to the realization that I won\u2019t hear you say that ever again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A few days back, I read something that said: \u201cChildren stay in the mother\u2019s body forever \u2014 and this is not a metaphor, but a biological fact.\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It felt so deep and beautiful at the same time. I kept thinking about it the whole day. Maybe that\u2019s one of the reasons you\u2019re constantly with me. Maybe that\u2019s why you\u2019re in my thoughts every waking moment\u2026 and then again in my dreams.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I miss you so much. There are moments every day when I feel I can\u2019t live without you anymore. Maybe I sound ungrateful for everything I still have. I have Deta, Mamba, a lovely home, and so many things one could ask for. But none of that fills the void your loss has created.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I want to see you, meet you, hug you, hear your voice again. Tell me, Adi \u2014 how do I do that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t want to speak to anyone, meet anyone, or do anything. I just want to cry my heart out. Sometimes I feel like there\u2019s something seriously wrong with me mentally. I go about fulfilling my duties as a mother, a wife, a daughter-in-law \u2014 as if everything is fine. But my heart knows how much it misses you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Never in my dreams did I think I\u2019d have to face something like this in my life. I\u2019ve already been through so much. For once, I am completely clueless. For once, I don\u2019t want to be strong. I want to break down, unravel, and lose myself completely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What should I do, Adi? Tell me\u2026 guide me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t have answers yet, Adi. I\u2019m just trying to breathe through each day. Right now, all I know is that I miss you more than I can hold. If you can hear me, stay close. I need you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t know how to do this life without you, but I know this \u2014 my love for you hasn\u2019t changed. It never will.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love you so much, baby.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your Mamma<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This Feb 18th, it will be a year since Adi left us. I thought the pain might ease with time, but it hasn\u2019t. Some mornings, I still wake up hearing his voice \u2014 and then I remember.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[4,10,9,8],"class_list":["post-379","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-letters-to-adi","tag-child-loss","tag-coping-mechanisms","tag-grief-journaling","tag-healing-journey","entry entry-center"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=379"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":380,"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379\/revisions\/380"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=379"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=379"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=379"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}