{"id":372,"date":"2026-02-03T18:44:52","date_gmt":"2026-02-03T18:44:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/?p=372"},"modified":"2026-02-09T08:01:56","modified_gmt":"2026-02-09T08:01:56","slug":"puchuku-we-felt-you-everywhere-today","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/?p=372","title":{"rendered":"Puchuku, We Felt You Everywhere Today"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Dear Adi,<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today was your Deta\u2019s birthday. Mamba and I planned a small surprise for him. I baked a cake and we got him a few gifts. At midnight, when we woke him up to cut the cake, the first thing he said was, \u201cI wish our puchuku was here.\u201d<\/em> He said, \u201cLast year he was here with us\u2026 now he\u2019s not.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

His words were a painful reminder of the constant ache that Deta, Mamba, and I carry every single moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We went out for breakfast and unknowingly ordered a lot of food. That\u2019s when we started talking about you again. About how much you loved your food. We talked about how you would always help Mamba finish her share. And then we just kept talking about you for a long time. You manage to sneak into all our conversations, without fail. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Later at night, we took your Aita (dadi) out for dinner. The restaurant had long glass windows, and we were seated near one of them. Suddenly, a cute little child came and started peering at us through the glass. Once again, I was reminded of you. That\u2019s exactly how you used to be when we walked to the clubhouse\u2014peering into the gym through the big glass windows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I saw quite a few kids around your age running around the mall, each one reminding me if you. We ordered noodles\u2014your favourite food. Even the restaurant was playing your favourite music\u2026 music we had stopped listening to for almost a year now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we got back home, I went through old photos, searching for pictures of you on your Deta\u2019s birthday. There were so many of them. Every single picture reminded me of your absence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple of days ago, I had a dream. You had come back from school, and I had gone to pick you up. You came running straight into my arms. When we reached home, you flung open the door to Mamba\u2019s room and started playing around. The dream felt so real that, for a moment, I forgot you weren\u2019t here. I forgot that you wouldn\u2019t run into my arms and hug me again. That realisation\u2014every single day\u2014is so painful, I can\u2019t put it into words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even now, as I write this, my heart aches unbearably. I feel like I can\u2019t breathe. My throat feels choked. It\u2019s going to be a year now, and the pain hasn\u2019t lessened even a bit. I\u2019ve just become better at hiding it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Life without you feels colourless, quiet, and without any flavour. I miss you so much, Adi. I wish you had stayed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I will love you forever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yours,
Mamma<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From cake cutting at midnight to noodles at dinner, every moment brought back memories of you. Even a child peering through a glass window was enough to remind me of you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[4,10,22,9],"class_list":["post-372","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-letters-to-adi","tag-child-loss","tag-coping-mechanisms","tag-grief-healing","tag-grief-journaling","entry entry-center"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/372","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=372"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/372\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":373,"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/372\/revisions\/373"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=372"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=372"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dearadi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=372"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}